What We Talk About When We Talk About Men: Issues Men Face Today
What We Talk About When We Talk About Men: Issues Men Face Today
Relationships of Every Kind
When people think of men and relationships, the first thing that often comes to mind is sexual relationships. But the truth is, men are just as interested in and committed to a host of other kinds of relationships. Male friendships, fathers and their sons and daughter, sons and their fathers and mothers. Familial relationships of all kinds. Long term committed relationships between loving partners. Platonic friendships. Work relationships. Online relationships. Meeting new people. Friendships between gay and straight men that go beyond stereotypes. Men loving their children with their whole heart and soul, and making conscious decisions to love differently than their own parents. ALL of those relationships are part of the psyche of today’s man, and all are relationships that should be celebrated by our society and culture. After all, a loving relationship with any other human being is a sign of strength.
Men, Money, and the Pressure to be a Financial Success
It’s good, of course, to have enough money to pay your bills and live within your means. And in a family unit, it has long been assumed that men would be the one to provide for their family. Even in cases where there is a husband and wife and the wife is working—it’s still assumed that the husband is someone going to be *responsible* for making sure the family is financially OK.
The pressures to be a financial success lead some men to abuse the system. And others to feel like a failure, for not being able to live up to society’s expectation of them. All of this is made even more difficult by a world that is changing even faster than most of us can keep up with it. There are fewer career jobs that have built-in security and that you can retire from with a pension. Robots, technology and automation really does mean there are fewer jobs out there. For a high percentage of families, a $1,000 unexpected expense would be catastrophic.
It is up to us to co-create a future where everyone really does have access to financial security and it is not tied so inextricably to being a man.
Raising Boys Today
Boys have unique challenges. In the past, the two ways of raising boys were to either dismiss bad behaviour with “boys will be boys” or to admonish boys for showing signs of weakness, particularly emotional weakness, with the phrase “be a man.” Where is the recognition that boys are complex creatures, with a range of needs, and that growing into a man is not a one-size-fits-all proposition?
Whether you are raising boys as a parent, as an educator, or as a role model—or just care about boys today—there are few resources and agreed-upon methods. How can we teach boys to respect not only women but also other boys and themselves? How do we help boys affected by racism? Talk to boys about #MeToo and sexual consent? And how do we have conversations with boys that let them know they can be victims of sexual assaults, a seldom talked about topic? What about boys who are growing up outside the socially accepted gender spectrum? Trans children? LGBTQ? What to do when boys are falling behind in school? Are boys being over-diagnosed with ADHD? How do we address violence and aggression—how do we prevent things like bullying and peer pressure to take drugs?
Do boys who are being raised by single parents or by two same gender parents need more support than boys in traditional households? ( what does this mean in 2021?)
If so, what does that look like?
Please feel free to contact Marc at Counselling Support to organise an appointment to chat or simply book an appointment online.